joy

God I’m sorry
for this worthless life I sometimes live.
I know it’s worthless
When myself to you I do not give.

This body is broken, dirty, and worthless;
This mind has been where it should not go;
This soul has struggled for long;
It all needs to be redeemed.

I need to be saved from it.
Pull me out of these shattered pieces,
Pieces of glass reflecting only myself,
And not Your glory.

For when I reflect myself,
I am in chains and defeat.
But when I reflect your glory,
My joy is complete.

\ lea /

summer introvert

An extrovert,
But content to sit,
Breathe in summer night,
Think but pretend-watch distant baseball.

To be enclosed by humid cool,
inhale sunset and concessions,
listen to clatter, and joyful shouting,
megaphone echo, hip-hop walk-up…

don’t need to talk,
don’t need to do,
just content to sit,
just content to be.

\ lea /

American culture

Formerly mature.
Until I met you.
Better at adults,
Thinking deeply.

But then
I felt the pressure
to fit in
with you.

And I think I changed.

Nearly lost the deep side of me,
Now not knowing how to speak thoughtfully,
And I don’t want this, but
I’ve grown into your immaturity.

\ lea /

[note: I’m not saying that all Americans are immature. I am an American, and I lived overseas for a few years when I was younger, an experience that really matured and grew me socially, and when I returned to the States, I fell into the immaturity of my peers]

quiet

Do you ever wake up feeling quiet?
Maybe it was an intense dream
Or not enough sleep
Or your dominant family

It’s not that you don’t have a lot to say –
Your mind is constantly running
But words have lost significance
& You are content in quietness.

\ lea /

home

moving once again.
but it doesn’t feel like moving.
since my parents stay here.
since my room stays here.

I’ll miss this room,
one of several that I didn’t grow up in
But another that has housed many friends, old and new
And that has seen me through such growth and change.

I’ll miss this chair
– a green armchair that was my sister’s –
that I tell everyone who walks through my door
to sit in.

I’ve read
prayed
studied
thought

written
talked
cried
and slept in it.

I’m still a little nervous
that I’ll feel alone,

but it’ll all be here when I get back
and I’ll find a home away from home.

\ lea /