poison.

bitterness has recently gotten a hold of me,
coming when I feel slighted and entitled;
outside, I don’t mind
But inside, bitterness brews and broods:

a growing, steaming, acid smoke
that somehow makes me feel better
as I grow bitter
and pretend it doesn’t matter.

But bitterness is poison.
it seeps into the fabric of my heart and spreads,
turning my heart a pale, sick brown,
filling my veins, dissolving in my blood,

and my veins carry it from my heart
to my lungs
to the tips of my fingers
and eventually to the lips of my mouth,

and it forces out pale, sick, biting words
into the open air —
words that are hard
to take back.

Lord Jesus, take my bitterness; replace it with thankfulness.

\ lea /

new place

faces everywhere,
so unknown.
unsure of the outward
that I show.

bitter

I wrote a poem about you
And now I’m bitter.
Things you said remind me of hurt
As we sit through dinner.

Words and thoughts have power.
Our mind’s beholding
Can shape our actions,
And turn our hearts sour.

So I must be wary of that power
Keep my thoughts from turning cold,
As bitterness cowers;
Take care of what my mind beholds.
\ lea /

quiet

Do you ever wake up feeling quiet?
Maybe it was an intense dream
Or not enough sleep
Or your dominant family

It’s not that you don’t have a lot to say –
Your mind is constantly running
But words have lost significance
& You are content in quietness.

\ lea /

overthinking

Why can’t I let go?
Can’t stop thinking about it.
I pull my mind away for a second
And then it’s right back to obsessing.

I feel like I’ve ruined it,
By overthinking how it could go,
What it could be like,
What will happen.

But it’s hard to let go.
To pull the tentacles of my mind away
From this weary subject.
It’s hard to let go.

\ lea /