surrender

Your heart for me is good.
Left to myself, I will be lost.
Hold on to me, let me not wander anymore.
It’s all about You.

I’ve been holding on
To my dreams and hopes,
But your Love is greater
and demands my whole heart.

Whatever You say, God.

My heart wants to hold onto the things of this world
but only You satisfy my heart, Lord Jesus!
So it’s all on the table,
I want you, oh God.

If these things aren’t for me,
take them!
I am satisfied in you —
my mind at peace and my heart fulfilled.

\ lea /

uncertainty

Coffee drip
Coffee sip
Waiting

I want to hurry up and know
Decide and move along
Keep it black and white, up-front and honest

But life doesn’t work like that

Life’s a cloudy, hazy gray
Foamy, swirling half-and-half

If I hurry up and move

blaze forward my own trail
in independence and liberty

I will miss the best part
I will miss the sweetest part

Leaning into the Father who knows all things,
who has all things in His hands.

Why would I sacrifice that for empty clarity?
I’d rather have purpose-filled patience.

Leaning, falling, resting, trusting.
Why?

Because the legs of my own wisdom and insight
Are faulty and weak,

Shaking and quaking,
Leaving my brewing pot of coffee
Rocking, tipping, falling, pouring, crashing, shattered.

Black & white clarity
Like an A+ or a letter of acceptance, a reality of hope and knowledge
Shows me what to do

but

gray uncertainty
teaches me to rest and trust and stop blazing,
shows me how to be

how to be still and breathe in the midst of not knowing.

.

but I know that waiting isn’t forever.
and some day there will be clarity,
but even then, life will be uncertain…
so for now, I take the opportunity to rest in Him.

\ lea /

highway profile

two police cars pass by, sirens wailing.
passing the profile of a black man in a small white car.

he slowed down to the shoulder, letting the police drive by.
to let them pass, or just in case?

my fair-skinned companions and I slowed down, yes,
but we continued driving.

and I remember stories
of friends misjudged in prejudice.

calm — the expression on this man’s face. and I wonder,
how many times?

\ lea /